new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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