Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
