he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
