i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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