went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
