he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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