we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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