they need to just BURY HIM!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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