No stitches, just platelets and will power
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
