Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
