none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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