Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
