Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
