im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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