so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
