wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
