well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think my moral compass just broke
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
