And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
