Duck Duck Cougar?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
