New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
