Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
