We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
