I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
