After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
