i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
