Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
