i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
