once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
