look no pants
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
