I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Of course I have a pirate flag
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize