i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I wear drunk well.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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