best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
