the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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