another moral hangover. fuck.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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