carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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