i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
