that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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