If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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