Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize