i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
