My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
