Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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