forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
