I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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