Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
