I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
