I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just google imaged poop.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
