She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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