its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
