Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
