This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
