When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize