Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
