I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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