My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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