Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I came so hard my ears popped.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
