i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
